I can see things. It always seems a problem at some point deciding whether I want to share or disclose what it is I see. The idea seems more profound because I am stoned. It doesn’t take much for me. To get stoned. I prefer sativa only. Indica makes me feel paradoxical body pain. Hybrids make me paranoid. Sativa makes me autistic, I guess. In a way.

It started tonight—while watching a… uh… reality show —with the thought of counting each second a frame was held between shots; it occured to me I was being hypnotized by the intention and movement of the camera edits. Literally. It was fascinating I made this discovery because once I noticed it I couldn’t unsee it… The conclusion I reached was that the jumbling of differently time-stamped video edits, constructing an artificially edited narrative, while pretending to be real, was really strange to me. I mean, I know it’s fake, but I’d see the gossip potential factoring into it. That they have a huge camera roll of film material on each person participating in this reality show, but that whoever gets cut from the show happens, ipso facto, out of the producers and editors deciding who is more watchable than not.

Perhaps one way to test this hypothesis is to analyze who gets the most combined screen time, who tends to have longer shots, in terms of counting seconds. It’s pretty crazy when you think about it.

The point is I am too stupid to understand what I say or write sometimes. Overall, even watching shows on television, slowly over time, is dangerous because it can erode your attention span, over time, in a certain way. I feel that happening to me, and I try to fight it. After I was done testing my vision and thoughts, I decided it wasn’t worth giving that show any more of my thought or attention. And then I decided to write just because. I’m starting not to feel stoned now…

I don’t like thinking anymore. I start to think only strong, convincingly negative things. Goodnight.